February 2010

I kissed Elle! This actually happened the 31st of January- I remember because it was a week before her mom came out to visit, and her mom came out to visit the first weekend in February which was also the weekend of the Superbowl AND my drill for that month (definitely a busy week). Anyways, I kissed her. She couldn't escape it ;) and she couldn't deny that she liked it either..


Haha I was a little nervous to move out of the "friendship" zone and gave Jordan quite a difficult time. People were starting to ask if we were dating and my mom was coming out to visit and I wasn't sure how to introduce her to Jordan (I am a very private person and keep my feelings to myself so I hadn't told my mom that we had been hanging out so much. Jordan came over and played games with my family while he was home for Christmas but that was it). 


Yeah, she told me not to be affectionate with her around her Mom (or anybody else for that matter). It was a lot like a secret love-affair actually. We were definitely kissing a lot, but nobody knew about it ;) So, then her mom came into town and that first Friday we went to watch BYU Folk Dance team do some show that was pretty good and we had a great time. Her mom was totally awesome and way easy/interesting to talk to, so we hit it off right away. We went to McDonald's after the show to get drinks and chit-chat for like, an hour and a half. The next day I kicked it with them again when I got back from drill (even though I was exhausted) and then again on Sunday. I even made them dinner on Sunday, which Elle just told me now she doesn't remember, but her mom loved it! By the time her mom left on Superbowl-Sunday evening (the 7th) I knew she liked me a lot- of course ;) that was my plan..


I'm sorry I didn't remember your dinner. I do now :) February also is known for Valentines Day! It was a Sunday..we went to church and made pizzas with Kaitlin, Joslin and some friends. Jordan brought me a rose and a card. We also went to his sister Chelsea's dessert party and then spent some time hanging out at my apartment. It was also the night of our first fight. Also, Suki reached 5,000 miles :) 


Yes, I'll get to that in a minute. Back to when Elle's mom left- over that weekend I started to really notice my feelings for Elle growing at an accelerated rate. I started to feel like I loved her. As Elle was driving her mom to the airport I went to visit Chelsea in her apartment and we had a good, long, heartfelt discussion about life. She helped me realize that I loved Elle and that I could see myself marrying her. I helped her realize that going on a mission was a good idea and she should not let anything keep her from going. A monumental discussion any way you slice it.


SO, I realized on the evening of 7 February 2010 that I loved Elle Nicole Nielson.


I tried to keep it a secret until the 14th (Valentine's Day) but I couldn't keep it to myself for very long (I'm really not the best person at keeping secrets). On Tuesday Lost 6 premiered and we went to a premier party that my sister threw at her apartment. Then, on thursday we were listening to music and making out in my room and I realized there was no reason to keep me from telling her. I felt it; even if I didn't say it, it was still true. So I told her. She was happy, but didn't tell me that she loved me too, which was okay- I knew she needed some more time.


I didn't believe him at first! I really was shocked haha. 


Then, on Valentine's Day we went to a dessert party (again at Chelsea's apartment) and I gave her the rose as she mentioned previous. The next day, Monday the 15th, was some holiday so I didn't have school and I planned a really great day for us. We drove up into the canyon and visited a lot of the more scenic places in the canyon (a lot of them were places I had taken her to back in Sept 09 when she came out to visit). Then I took her to Jordanelle State Park, which was awesome :) Also, we went to Park City and had some good Mexican food and took pictures- it was fun! We went back to Jordanelle to have a nice long chat. It was there that she finally told me I had a chance with her..


After a month and a half of almost no answer I finally told him he had a pretty good chance! We had a lot of fun that day and I started to think that I loved him back :)


Yes, I had been asking her if she would ever open her heart up enough to give me a fair chance. I was asking her that even before she came out to Utah, but she never answered me. She just kept saying "I don't know."


Haha I was really good at not answering Jordan's questions and dancing around the topic of dating.


Yeah, she's definitely a good dancer ;) anyways, even on this awesome day she didn't really answer the question. She just told me I had a better chance than I thought. Very diplomatic of her, actually.


And we did have a fight. It was centered on this same topic of whether she would give me a fair chance or not. I didn't want to keep dating her, fall more in love with her, and then have her tell me that she wanted to see where things went with her missionary and just drop me. That's what would definitely happen if she didn't give me a fair chance and open her heart up to me. If she did give me a chance, I really felt like I would win her over :)


I realized I did love him though and told him soon after :) 


Yep, we were lying in my room listening to Snow Patrol and she told me. It was great :)


So, in conclusion, February was a short month consisting mostly of us falling in love with each other and being happy :) and a lot of parties.


Best Moment:


There are so many great memories from this month, but my favorite is when Elle finally told me she loved me too :) We were lying there on my bed just being close to each other and relaxing- listening to the album A Hundred Million Suns by Snow Patrol. I said, "I love you Elle" and she said "I love you" right back to me! A moment in time that I can remember exactly as it was because it was so special to me- I can go back in my mind and live it over again and be happy :)


Mine was obviously when Jordan told me he loved me :) it was completely unexpected and a wonderful surprise! Although, I did feel really bad that I didn't say it back, but I wanted to say it when I knew that I truly meant it! I love you so much Jordan!